A few weeks ago I decided to leave social media for a while. I was so bored and felt like stuck in someones life which didn't really satisfied me at all. 

I'm not that kind of a fancy person, I'm not blessed with a big self esteem and I don't want to put myself in competitions with others.

I pretended to be strong, never struggling, as fancy as you can imagine, and last but not least: myself - wearing cool clothes which I was allowed to rent at some even fancier showrooms, sleeping in hotels fancier than any flat you'll see on Tumblr and drinking my Soya Caramel Diet Latte #sponsoeredbystarbucks and called this "life". 

I missed the times where I called my mom without asking if I had receive  a new package with clothes as a gift from Label XY ; but simply asked her how her day was or how she's feeling. 

I was no longer keen on spending time on my phone thinking about my next Instagram Post - telling people to be themselves while I wasn't even able to count how many filters I've used to make this picture look like I'm flawless. 

So 67934724439 Selfies later, 59349 drinks later - calmed down from being a bit aggressive I deactivated my Instagram and felt like something's missing. I really got anxious all of a sudden!

I deactivated an APP (!) and felt anxious?! 

Societys idea of being successful and beautiful got way too far with me.

I've spend time by myself. It's something we've started to fear - but as long as you're not able to spend time alone you'll never figure out who you really are. Sure it's way more comfortable to stare at a screen and let society, bloggers and labels define you or show you an direction, but that's not what life is for. It's the biggest adventure you can attend. 

So why not simply turn the back on all this and explore yourself?

That's what I did and what I still do. That's how I disappeared.